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Money down the drain

MITTING FROM OSTAP IBRAGIMOVICH

Watching TV is bad.

Misha PETERSKY

The charming showman, the fourth Ostap Bender of our movie, convinced me in a few minutes that a car without a miracle mittens is wrong. The mitten cleans, removes and polishes, and at the same time eliminates rust and creates an antistatic field. And all this is under the touched sighs of the green party: one glass of water is enough for the car, and therefore the environment will not suffer. And what recommendations! The magazine “At the wheel”, Gokhran of Russia, the Presidential Administration … In general, I take out a hidden stash and call on the phone.

- Want to buy? No problem - how much do you need? One - yes, please. With delivery - two thousand five hundred rubles …

Cool … I find ZR four years ago and re-read the mentioned "recommendation" - well, we have inflation! In 1996, a mittens cost 100, 000 "then" rubles, that is, about 17 dollars. By the way, what was written about her … Yeah, removes rust deposits and gas stains around the neck of the gas tank - that’s what you need. Have to buy - call again. At the same time, we’ll clarify something.

“Do you need one?” With delivery - two and a half thousand rubles. No, you can’t come to us. Yes, our patent, foreign production. For a long time - about 600-700 car washes.

But do not ask for a discount? Gathering impudence and saying that ten minutes ago they promised to reduce the price … After a second of thought, the mittens become cheaper by 500 rubles, and I call my address. After another hour, the courier takes my 2000 rubles. and hands me the package with the purchase. We read - “made in China”, the general distributor in the CIS and Baltic countries, LLC “UING”. But washing the car with this does not raise a hand - it's a pity. I'll go to some familiar chemists …

First, try to clean something. Let's start with small pieces of “Lada” - metal plates coated with various vaz enamels. The prepared “mud” - water-gasoline and water-oil emulsions containing river sand and salt - is applied to the plates and dried. It turned out something familiar - like on machines that did not reach the sink.

Now we wash it all with a stream of water - according to the instructions! In television advertising, they accidentally forgot to clarify that if the surface is covered with a thick layer of dirt with sand, it is recommended to wash it off with water first, and only then use a mitt … And in order to compare it, we will clean some of the plates in a simple way - with the help of dishwashing detergents “Fairy” and polishing cloth.

It turned out pretty funny - the plates washed in different ways look exactly the same. We pour water on them - it easily “rolls”, leaving no traces and spots. For order, we measure the contact angle of water wetting (to put it simply, the angle between the tangent to the drop’s edge and the surface on which it lies). Again, the same thing - about 48 ° (before polishing it was 20 °).

From dirt to dust. To check the antistatic properties of surfaces polished with a mitt and a napkin, a layer of dust was applied to the plates, held for three hours and tried to remove with a fan. Dust flew off all the plates equally equally, and therefore the result is the same - a draw.

Well - the warm-up is over, it's time to fight the rust. Let's start with her light coating, which captured a small surface layer of metal in the cracks of paint. Mitten and napkin easily remove brown scum. We give the task more difficult - a deep rusty scratch. And again, equality, but this time - the equality of the vanquished. Before a real corrosion defect, both a mittens and a napkin were saved.

By the way, what is this mitten made of? We conduct spectrophotometric analysis and find out - nothing stunning. Oxalic acids affect rust, aromatic compounds slightly dissolve the top coat of paint … In general, it doesn’t smell like secret technologies - we have such good stuff.

I looked at my mittens and was upset - you could not stand it, my dear, 600 car washes. I scrubbed two dozen tiny plates, but no longer looked - and it turned black and the fibers climb out. And if it comes to GREEN PIS that the dirty car must first be doused with water from the nearest reservoir, and then with the mittens around, then the protests will begin.

I don’t want to blame the mittens - it's my fault. As you think, how many times for this money it was possible to drop by the sink like a white person … However, if it were not for the idiotic price, then there would be nothing to complain about. The mittens really can clean dust, polish surfaces and remove light rust deposits. Moreover, it is much more convenient to use than ordinary rags or napkins, and the description attached to it does not contain any mention of an infinite number of sinks or guaranteed removal of rust spots. Nevertheless, it seems that the main purpose of the Chinese product is not a car, but office furniture, brass door handles and plumbing. It is much more respectable to clean a suite with a hundred-dollar mitt than a napkin for 4 rubles …